How the F** did I run up this hill?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY! During my run/walk this morning I started thinking about what motivates me to do this painful running that I hate so much? What gave me the desire to run up this hill just to get to the top, while my calves are burning, heart is beating out of my chest, dripping with sweat and pretty sure you can’t tell the difference between a sewer and my underarms . I know I am disgusting..stay with me here. What brought me to this place that is now an important part of my week? I used to hate working out, I hate being sore after a workout and I had a ton of excuses like I don’t have “TIME” (Biggest Bullshit excuse EVER btw).  I would follow all these “skinny bitches” workout videos on FB, which didn’t motivate me AT ALL in fact I made this into an excuse too. … “They don’t understand what’s it’s like to be in my flubber body”, “That’s not going to work for me because I’m not a little petite woman I’m a rhino kind of lady.”  If you read this and are saying “I wish I was your size” knock that off, if you have a crappy mindset, you get to my size and you still have the same self deprecating thoughts. TRUST ME!!! Here’s what changed for me to get motivated…just a few simple things….

1. JUST MOVE –  shut up and MOVE, walk, jumping jacks, swim, whatever, just move. I promise you the more you move, the better you feel and the more you want to move and eat better. Then you start noticing some amazing changes within your soul and body.  

2. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET – stop looking at your body and comparing it to other people and stay the F*** away from Instagram..worst app ever for self esteem …”O wow look at this beautiful super skinny, tan woman doing a handstand with one hand on a mountain top with the beautiful beaches of Bali in the background.” Worst shit ever. Stop looking in your tall mirror every morning, saying some shitty ass comment about yourself. Change your words to say something loving. You deserve to hear nothing less than love. 

3. SET SMALL GOALS – this year I wanted to do a handstand, why that’s important I don’t know probably because of the bitch on Instagram. She’s not a bitch, she’s a really nice girl with her own insecurities. This is literally how my inner dialogue goes. See why I teach yoga & meditation? When I run,  I would love for everyone to listen to my inner running dialogue, “God please let me live through my heart beating this fast”, “God please don’t let me get hit by this car coming right at me going 60 miles per hour”, “God I’ll be your best friend if you can help me get to that sign that’s literally 4 feet away from me.” Seriously I do set small goals.. run to that stop sign, you made it YEAH! Run to the next whatever. Get my drift? 

4. FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU – I am a Mom so my life is busy but I have carved out times that I can commit to taking care of MYSELF and that’s what I call it…“Taking care of myself so I don’t kill all of you time.”  Don’t worry that was just a joke. Make your “taking care of myself time”,  doing something fun that you enjoy and if you are like me, mix it up.  I think it’s important to balance cardio and strengthening. I love High Intensity Interval Training.  You can get a power workout done in like 8-15 mins. I also love dancing, yoga or swimming during this time. Have fun with this journey. The most important part is #5. 

5. HONOR YOURSELF  WHERE YOU ARE –  I stopped focusing on what I wanted to look like and started being proud of where I am. This is a very new concept for me and yoga and meditation helped me with this. I now look in my tall mirror and I say “Damn girl.. look at those strong legs”, “You are almost 40 and you are in the best shape you have ever been.” I give myself love and gratitude for exactly where I am.  

You will have days where you are unable to commit to yourself. Don’t go back down the rabbit hole of shitty mindset.  You will look in the tall mirror and start picking yourself apart again. You will have days when you put on jeans that barely make it past your thighs and wonder if all the sweat and pain is worth it. The answer is yes. Keep going and don’t stop moving. The goal is not to be skinny because that’s not where you will find happiness. The goal is to give yourself love. I do meditation and yoga to give love to my soul and I exercise to give love to the body that carries that special soul.